Life up to August 11, 2011

It's an overwhelming feeling.  Like an itch in my head.  At any given moment there are these thoughts, ideas, feelings that just stick in my head and the only way to sooth this itch is to lay my fingers on the keyboard and just type away.  Ahhh......that feels better.  Something you probably all need to know about me is that psychologist would say that I'm mentally unstable.  Let me explain before you run from me like a race horse in the Kentucky Derby.  My feelings about the medical profession have never been...lets say...favorable.  Absolutely, there is the small percentage that are 100% ethical and true to their career.  Doctors that give the profession a good name.  But keep in mind that I said a small percentage.  I just don't believe that most of them know what they are doing.  Nevermind the ones who are themselves on drugs but think about the ones who are just in it for the money.  The ones who are in it for the title of Doctor.  The ones who just said one day, "You know, I'm tired of Mom and Dad bothering me with this.  Okay....I'll go to school and be a damn doctor!"  Or how about the quacks who read a book and said, "Okay..now I know how to fix him or her."  Most of them don't know Jack and that's what I think about that.  And not to sound wishy-washy, but I do appreciate that small percentage.  So as I was saying, I can be a little unhappy.  Not depressed.  I can be somewhat neurotic.  Not crazy or insane.  My thoughts, comments and actions do sometimes appear negative but that is just me keeping it real.  If the kettle is black then the kettle is black.  And things sometimes stress me out.  An overbearing boss, an unbelievable case load, a flaky girlfriend.  I'm only human.  I do have feelings and emotions just like everyone.  So I'm not mentally unstable.  I'm not clinically depressed Dr. Quack. I'm just like anyone else who lives and breathes in this now crazy world we live in.  Hope that didn't freak you all out.

So it looks like I'm going to be a school bus driver for now.  At least until something breaks for me in this horrible job market and I can continue to pursue a career in case management.  I would actually settle for anything substantial that would give some type of respect and gratification in what I do for a living.  Doesn't that just piss you off guys.  I mean even if your were well off earning a living as a, let's say, a lawyer.  You're at a party and you happen to be standing in front of a nice girl.  You strike up a great conversation, you both hit it off and BOOM!  What you thought was the beginning of something special just turned into a moment of 'Judgement Time' as she asks, "So what do you do for a living?"  The measuring stick for pretty much all women.  Sorry ladies but you know it's true.  God forbid that I'm in a rut right now and that I don't anticipate it lasting forever.  I mean jeez Louise...I've got some ambition, some drive, some integrity. Kind of tough right now and Lord knows I'm making the effort.  Yeah, I've got a problem with that.  But keep in mind that I've been on both sides of the track so I think I know what I'm talking about.  I think.